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The Dance of Intimacy: A Woman's Guide to Courageous Acts of Change in Key Relationships, by Harriet Lerner
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In The Dance of Intimacy, the bestselling author of The Dance of Anger outlines the steps to take so that good relationships can be strengthened and difficult ones can be healed. Taking a careful look at those relationships where intimacy is most challenged--by distance, intensity, or pain--she teaches us about the specific changes we can make to achieve a more solid sense of self and a more intimate connectedness with others. Combining clear advice with vivid case examples, Dr. Lerner offers us the most solid, helpful book on intimate relationships that both women and men may ever encounter.
- Sales Rank: #38419 in Books
- Brand: William Morrow Paperbacks
- Published on: 1990
- Released on: 1997-03-28
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.00" h x .61" w x 5.31" l, .47 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 255 pages
- Great product!
From Publishers Weekly
This sensible self-help book draws on family-systems therapy in recommending thoughtful "self-focus" for women stuck in difficult relationships with either mates or families. Emphasizing that "a truly intimate relationship is one in which we can be who we are, which means being open about ourselves," Lerner ( The Dance of Anger ; Women in Therapy ) highlights the importance of women defining themselves, their needs and limits, rather than reacting to anxiety unthinkingly--either by emotionally distancing themselves from problems or by overreacting. A staff psychologist and psychotherapist at the Menninger Clinic, Lerner illustrates her points with case studies from her family as well as her practice. To explore what unhelpful patterns of behavior may be passed down from past generations, she advises creating a genogram, or family diagram, going back to a person's grandparents or earlier. Lerner's book presumes at least an acquaintance with professional jargon but should be accessible to most readers of pop psychology.
Copyright 1989 Reed Business Information, Inc.
Review
“A wise and compassionate book that will teach the reader much about the complex emotions our family and love relationships engender.” (Lillian B. Rubin, Ph.D., author of Intimate Strangers)
“Subtle and literate, The Dance of Intimacy is like a long, revealing conversation with a wise and compassionate friend.” (Maggie Scarf)
“Dr. Lerner has a truly remarkable ability to analyze our problems with intimacy. She has written a hopeful, respectful, and transforming book.” (Carol C. Nadelson, M.D., former president of the American Psychiatric Association)
About the Author
Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., is one of our nation’s most loved and respected relationship experts. Renowned for her work on the psychology of women and family relationships, she served as a staff psychologist at the Menninger Clinic for more than two decades. A distinguished lecturer, workshop leader, and psychotherapist, she is the author of The Dance of Anger and other bestselling books. She is also, with her sister, an award-winning children's book writer. She and her husband are therapists in Lawrence, Kansas, and have two sons.
Most helpful customer reviews
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
This book was useful in that it discussed things I had not previously ...
By RW
This book was useful in that it discussed things I had not previously heard about, such as the concept of triangulation and histograms. It is a useful book too for women who are wanting to learn more about setting boundaries in relationships. It is a bit outdated (you can tell it wasn't written in this decade). Also as a lesbian I found it lesbian-friendly in a way that some books about relationships are not, but again in a somewhat outdated sort of way. Overall I would recommend this as a book for people (particularly women, as it does seem written more for women than men) who want to gain a deeper understanding of human relations.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Male reader review
By Ed Speartooth
This is a theory of relationships book, not a how to book. It is well organized, systematically written. Written from a female perspective, but the issues are recognizable by men with spouses or sisters in the workforce.
Clear warnings by the author that presenting problem and solution histories in one chapter makes things look easier than they are. Enough stories without "happy endings" to realistically present difficulties.
Have read one dance book before, fear. I am considering reading another, anger, in the near future. Recommended by psychologist treating me for depression when I brought up marital concerns.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Changed the way I communicate
By Esther
This book literally changed the way I talk to people and express myself. After a series of failed relationships both romantic and family, I decided to start the new year with a change. The Dance of Intimacy made me examine my family relationships and how those impact every other relationship I have. It also made me focus on my feelings and less on the behavior of others, especially when communicating about a problem or issue. I can honestly say I'm less angry now, I still have a long way to go but this book was a great first step.
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